Tikinauts Episode 1, Chapter 3: Inside The Mothership

The Tikis came here in the Moon thousands of years ago. 

When they found the Earth already inhabited by a sentient species, they thought they would resupply the Moon and continue searching for a water world to replace their destroyed home world. 

Unfortunately, their hyperdrive failed when they couldn't find helium 6 to refuel it. Apparently our solar system is utterly devoid of this particular helium isotope.

Without helium 6, their star drive is just collecting dust.

In the years since, the Tikis have been living in the Moon, making occasional trips to Earth for necessary supplies, and working on finding a solution for their star drive issues...and partying, of course.

Tikinauts Episode 1 Chapter 3: The Mothership

There are legends of a time before Earth had a Moon. 

Of course there are! The Moon is the Tikis' Mothership! The only reason it is covered in rocks and dust is because it's been sailing through the ocean of space for millions of years. It's picked up all that debris by flying through clouds of it while travelling across the galaxy.

Did you think the Moon was some kind of natural object, or something?

Tikinauts Episode 1 Chapter 2: Party Gods

Did I mention that the Tikis love to party? After millions of years traveling through space, what other entertainment was there?

Another star floating by in the galaxy was old, old news for them.

The Tikis are basically immortal unles some outside force kills one of them. They don't age like you and I.

You'd think that gods wearing spacesuits of basically wood flying in a wooden spaceship would be afraid of open flames, but ironized bamboo doesn't burn so easily.

The Tikis fell in love with fire after watching humans playing with it in their scanners. Fire was rarer than Earth unicorns on their water-planet home world. They've adopted tiki torches match, stick, and brazier.

Tikinauts Episode 1... The Arrival

They came from a water world being boiled by its sun thousands of years ago. 

They used ironified wood to survive the rigors of open space, and hydrogen for fusion.

They used bamboo to build a life raft to cross the infinite ocean of stars.

Somehow they dropped a bunch of seeds over China, probably because they were bored shitless and partying after the discovery of a habitable planet with large oceans.

Of course, the pilot got blasted, and they managed to crash on Rapanui. They erected monuments for those who didn't survive, of course. Then they embedded the dead in their own monuments, as was their custom. All it would take is a quick X-ray of a few Moai to verify my tale, but who has an X-ray machine that big?

Way Past Midnight Blues...

Way Past Midnight Blues...

I went out to the garage,
Turned on all three plasma lamps,
Fired up the PC,
Pulled my headset off the hook,
Set a ginger beer on the coaster,
Lit up the Blues radio,
Graduated to Tiki tunes,
Bounced over to YouTube,
Chatted with an old friend 2,000 miles away,
It's 02:00 on the weekend,
And I can't give up a drop,
not a split second,
Ear candy in the wee hours.

AquarianM

By: Daniel A. Stafford
(C) 07-26-2025